


harlequin hearts

by artemis_west



Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019), Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Harleen Quinzel, Bisexuality, Canon Bisexual Relationship, Cunnilingus, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Female Relationships, Friends to Lovers, Harleen Quinzel Needs a Hug, Harleen Quinzel's Hyenas, I think I got everything relevant, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Lingerie, Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Strap-Ons, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vaginal Fingering, it's my first F/F fic I think! yay, what else do I tag this with idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:33:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25581394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_west/pseuds/artemis_west
Summary: An alternate-canon version of how Harley and Ivy got together in the Harley Quinn TV show. They sleep together the first time during a drunken night of celebration, and from there, one-night stands start to add up. Harley knows exactly what she wants, and what she wants is to be with Ivy. But Ivy pulls away every time. Harley is determined to get her to admit her feelings.
Relationships: Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 9
Kudos: 186





	harlequin hearts

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHH my first f/f fic and my first harlivy fic which I was very excited about very eager to post!!! 
> 
> If you've seen the TV show on DC universe this is basically like a different version of how they got together but in my head it mostly still takes place in that universe. it mentions Charles, who is Ivy's fiancé at the beginning of the fic, and Joker appears briefly - regarding the tags of implied/referenced domestic abuse, there is one scene where Joker slaps Harley, but that's it. otherwise there is really only one scene of major violence and I don't consider it really even that big. the fic mostly focuses on emotions and feelings and the smut. 
> 
> this is a little over 20 pages but I did not feel like splitting it into chapters so it's just one long fucker. enjoy!

**Song for this fic: Poison - YAS**

**<https://open.spotify.com/track/3tNFD1jgOxmc60DU8bkPf4?si=CkT4r7qsSrelISd5GmeK7w> **

Harley woke to a cold bed again. 

She shouldn’t have been disappointed; it was exactly what she knew would happen, like it always did. And yet, every time, she let herself hope that things would be different. Especially after last night, after all the things Ivy had said to her. She thought this time would be the one. 

She wondered when she would stop fooling herself. 

She sighed, feeling her heart breaking all over again, her walls coming back up. She thought about getting up, then decided there was no point. No point in checking her phone for messages, either. Ivy wouldn’t have left her any. 

This was the tenth time they’d hooked up in the last year (Harley was counting). Harley would never forget the first time. (Or the second, or the third. Well, any of them.) The first time, she’d been so full of hope, so happy, thinking that she and Ivy could be together without anything holding them back and they’d be unstoppable. She’d been nervous, at first, but the buzz of alcohol had wiped it away, and then the comfort and familiarity of her best friend had made things so easy. 

But Ivy pulled away the morning after. Hesitated. Told Harley she had to think, that they should probably give each other space for a while. 

An anchor had pulled Harley’s heart down, but she smiled. Said, “Yeah, sure.”

At the time, Ivy  _ was _ engaged. So yeah, it was complicated, and Harley understood why Ivy might’ve had regrets. But she thought it would be easy to get through. She thought Ivy would just break things off with her fiance and come back to Harley. Done and done. 

Maybe it was naive of her. No, it was. She couldn’t understand Ivy’s position because she wasn’t committed to anyone else. She would never be with Joker again, and she could never imagine loving anyone the way she loved Ivy. But Ivy had been with her fiance for almost a year by the time she and Harley first slept together. There were feelings involved, messy emotions. So Harley gave Ivy space like she wanted. 

It was awkward, at first. They were best friends - they’d been sharing an apartment for three years, wreaking havoc and chaos over Gotham City together for longer than that. Always side-by-side, partners in crime. Harley knew her feelings had probably always been there, slowly developing under her nose until they grew too big to ignore, but even after a year of one-night stands, Harley  _ still _ wasn’t sure how Ivy really felt. 

At this rate, she didn’t know if she ever would. 

After Ivy broke things off with her fiance, Harley thought they would make progress. She felt bad for the guy, but she couldn’t feel too guilty when she had Ivy in her bed. She’d been so happy. Thought they would finally work things out, be together for real.

But it had been months since then, and here she was again, alone in their apartment. 

It was like she knew two different Ivys now - the one she made love to, the one who was so alive and carefree and beautiful when they were in bed together; and the one who could barely look at her anymore in the daylight. The one who couldn’t meet her eyes and preferred to go out in Gotham City alone now. 

Harley wished she was strong enough to quit Ivy. Wished she was strong enough to say enough was enough. Because Harley had changed for Ivy - she’d been trying so hard to be better for her, to stop fucking things up and setting things on fire all the time just because she liked to watch them burn. When they first met and became friends, most of their relationship was Ivy running after Harley to save her from whatever sticky situation she’d gotten herself into. But then they’d started working together, and their names were spoken in tandem all over Gotham City. It was never just one or the other after that; it was always Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, dynamic duo. 

Ivy had saved Harley from Joker. For that, Harley had loved her from the start. 

Harley would always remember the night. She and Joker had both been drunk, angry at each other as usual. They’d been out at Joker’s favorite club, and that night, Ivy just happened to be there too. 

The memory coalesced in her mind, sharp as the cut of a blade.

“You’re a fuckin’ piece of shit,” Harley said, shoving Joker away as he tried to put his arm around her. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me. I’m tired’a you and your bullshit.” The argument this time was because Joker was planning something big, a move on Gotham City that would give the entire Justice League a run for its money. He’d been hinting at it for weeks, but he was secretive about it, not telling Harley any details when she asked. She knew that he was enlisting the help of some of the city’s heaviest hitters; they were supposed to meet at the club tonight. Bane, Two-Face, Scarecrow. A few others from outside Gotham City. 

Joker was always ‘planning something big,’ but this was supposed to be  _ bigger  _ than big. And Harley wanted nothing more than to be a part of it. If the entire League was going down, she wanted to take the credit alongside Joker, so they could rule at the top of the villain hierarchy together. The Clown Prince and Princess of Crime. No, fuck that. King and Queen. She wanted to be a fucking queen. Everybody was gonna know her name. 

But Joker had no intention of seriously involving her. He only wanted her there as his piece of ass, looking good on his arm. Because she was a siren, and no other villain in Gotham City could claim her.

Harley should’ve realized she would never be more than a toy to Joker, a pet he kept for his own amusement, but she was blinded. Stupid. Brainwashed. 

It was worse because it wasn’t the first time this had happened, that he’d kept her out of his plans. He always did this. And every time, Harley expected something different. 

The joke was on her. 

“Harley,” Joker growled in her ear, gripping her tight enough to hurt. “Calm down. Why don’t you get us a refill, huh?” He squeezed her ass, hard. The man who was sitting with them - not one of the people they were supposed to meet, just a lower-rung amateur villain who wanted to get a leg up with Joker - grinned, eyeing Harley up and down. Her skin crawled. 

“Fuck you,” Harley spat, trying to get out of Joker’s grasp. She hated his hands on her all of a sudden, wanted to tear them off and chew them up and spit them out. “I’m done with you. For good. Let me go.”

“Now, now. That’s no way to speak to me, and you know it.” Joker’s grin was manic. His eyes glittered dangerously. His voice was suddenly softer, and he caressed her face with a smile. “Harley, baby, I promise you’ll hear all about it when the others get here. You have a very special part in my plans.”

She paused. This was the trap - sometimes he could be so nice to her, turn the switch so suddenly, dangle a temptation in front of her face so she fell for it every time. He knew she wanted to be a part of things. He knew she wanted to run Gotham City with him. It had always been what she’d wanted, ever since they met and fell in love and broke out of Arkham Asylum together. It had always been what he promised her, day in and day out. 

But - no. Joker never kept his promises, not to her. He never cared about her. Harley knew that, deep down. 

“You’re lyin’,” she said. “You’re lyin’, puddin’.” She shook her head, sniffling. “No. Let me go.”

He squeezed her harder, his fingers bruising. He gritted his teeth. “Harley - ”

“ _ No!  _ Let me go, you fucking clown!” 

His face darkened. She was too drunk to see it coming. And that was his fault - he’d plied her with drinks as soon as they stepped into the club, and she kept drinking them, one after the other. Part of her thought it would be better to have a clear head when the other villains got here, so she could discuss strategy with them and be part of the conversation. But she was too excited. Mister J had  _ promised _ her that this time, she was gonna be all in with him. She’d believed him.

He hit her, his blow turning her head to the side painfully. She cried out, feeling something in her neck crack. She felt a trickle of blood run from her nose.

Harley put a hand to her stinging cheek, tears falling from her eyes, lip trembling as she stared at him. It wasn’t the first time, but it was so public - everyone had seen. Everyone was a witness to her humiliation. 

Joker just grimaced at her. “Get outta my sight, useless bitch.”

“I’ll fucking kill you,” she promised, stumbling away from their table in her black-and-red high heels. 

Joker laughed cruelly. “Sure, sure. See you tomorrow, Harley.” He turned back to the other guy at the table, who was laughing too.

No. No, he wouldn’t. She always went crawling back to him, but not this time. Not this fucking time.

Harley ran from the club and out into the back alley, thankfully empty. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, and then she sat on the cold, dank ground to cry. 

Ivy found her a few minutes later. 

“Hey, are you okay?” The green-skinned woman knelt down beside her, concern on her face. “Need any help?”

Harley sniffled and wiped the blood from her face. “I know you.”

Poison Ivy smiled, laughing softly. “Yeah, I know you too.”

They’d met a few times before, always at the scene of a crime, but they’d never stopped long enough to talk. Harley thought she was great - she’d always admired Pamela Isley’s powers, and the way she was respected and feared by her own merit all over Gotham City. She and Catwoman - now  _ they _ were two impressive broads. Harley wanted to be on their level. 

Ivy used her thumb to wipe a tear from Harley’s face, her smile gentle and sad. “Did that clown do this to you?”

Harley nodded, her lip trembling again. Ivy sighed. She looked towards the club entrance with pursed lips and a glare, like she was thinking of going inside and giving Joker a piece of her mind. But she shook her head and turned back to Harley. She stood up, her hand extended. 

“Come on. You can stay with me tonight.”

And that was it. 

Harley knew, she always knew with such certainty, that if Ivy hadn’t found her that night, she would’ve gone back to Joker. It always happened. 

Maybe she would’ve found the strength to leave on her own eventually, but Ivy helped her along. Ivy saved her. 

They moved in together, and the two of them started terrorizing Gotham City as a unit. Joker was pissed, at first. He came after Harley with a vengeance. But together, she and Ivy were unbeatable. They took him down easily. After that, he stayed away. 

Living with Ivy made Harley see life in a whole new light. Every job they pulled together, every new scumbag they took down, made her feel invincible. She and Ivy just worked so well together, and Harley didn’t ever want to go back to an existence without Ivy’s friendship. Ivy made her laugh. Made her smile all the time. Made her feel wanted. Worthy.

She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it had started to turn into something more for Harley. Maybe it was when Ivy told her about the  _ real  _ first moment they met, a memory that had been taken from Harley after Joker transformed her into what she was. When she’d been Dr. Harleen Quinzel, psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. 

Ivy described the moment Dr. Quinzel had walked past her cell in Arkham, paused outside her door, and slipped a tiny little sapling into the slot meant for meal trays. She’d smiled through the small window in the door and winked. 

That memory returned to Harley in fuzzy, disjointed pieces when Ivy told her about it. Ivy had seemed so fond of it, her voice soft when she spoke of it. Harley wished she remembered it better.

Or maybe the moment things had started to change for Harley was the night they’d destroyed the headquarters of one of Gotham City’s biggest polluters. They’d been buzzing off the adrenaline, and they’d gone out to celebrate, getting drunk together and laughing until they cried, dancing so close together that they were practically intertwined, bodies touching and never separating for the rest of the night. 

Or maybe it was when Harley had slipped up, snuck out to see Joker because he’d promised her he’d changed, and Ivy had treated her wounds after. 

Maybe it was the night Ivy listened to every single horrible thing Joker had ever done to Harley, and just sat there and held her while she cried.

Once Harley realized her feelings, she looked back on all those moments differently. And she wondered if Ivy felt the same things she felt. 

She had to, she  _ had  _ to - or else Ivy wouldn’t have slept with her. 

Ivy was with someone, some guy named Charles who Harley never really paid attention to. She didn’t know much about him, only knew Ivy spent one night over at his place a week. They’d been together since before she and Harley became friends. She’d met him once or twice and thought he was dull, but if Ivy liked him and he treated her well, Harley wasn’t gonna judge. 

She’d barely spared a thought for him the night she and Ivy first slept together.

As Harley laid despondently in bed in her and Ivy’s apartment, that memory came back to her in vivid color, soft as silk. She closed her eyes and re-lived it. 

They’d been tipsy, celebrating a recent election win of a councilwoman in Gotham City who promised to fight against the ongoing environmental issues plaguing the city. It was a big thing for Ivy. She was excited, said she even wanted to meet with the councilwoman. Harley loved her when she was like this - so passionate. Righteous and proud about what she believed in. 

Harley had said, “Congratulations, Ive. Now we gotta go kill all the other old white fuckheads in office who’ll shoot down all her ideas.”

Ivy laughed, her long red hair falling over Harley’s shoulder as she leaned her head against her. Harley’s stomach had done a funny thing. 

They’d kept drinking, going out that night to a club Ivy liked, not one that Harley knew, one where she wasn’t likely to run into any of the Joker’s pals. They’d dressed up nice and shiny and danced the night away, holding on to each other. 

“You’re my best friend, Harls,” Ivy told her as they danced. “You know that?”

“You’re my best friend too, Ives,” Harley said, smiling happily. Her heart soared. She’d never had a best friend before, but now that she had Ivy, she knew she couldn’t live the rest of her life without her. The thought alone was enough to send her to her darkest places. 

But she wouldn’t have to worry about that, she thought. They’d always be together now. She was sure of that. 

Harley kissed Ivy on the dance floor, throwing her body against Ivy’s under the flashing club lights. Ivy was hesitant, at first, but a second later her arms slipped around Harley’s waist, her hands trailing up her back, exposed by the skimpy top Harley wore. Harley shivered, kissing her deeper. Ivy bit her lip. 

When they pulled back, they looked at each other with wide eyes, and then giggled. Harley hid her mouth behind her hand. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She felt alive. On fire. She kissed Ivy again, smiling against her lips. 

“Let’s go home,” Ivy mumbled in her ear, and Harley nodded. 

“After you, Red,” she said, taking her hand. Ivy led her out of the club. They’d walked there - it wasn’t very far from the cozy apartment they shared on the seedy side of the city - and on the way home, they got sidetracked in alleyways and dark corners, Ivy kissing Harley up against brick walls, Harley’s leg hooking around Ivy’s waist. Ivy’s hand on her thigh, fingers pressing into pale skin. 

“Come on, come on,” Harley urged, taking her hand and running with her the rest of the way home. She laughed, wild and carefree. She’d never felt so warm. So golden and glittering. The whole night sparkled, and Ivy’s eyes were jade pools Harley would happily drown in a thousand times over, diving into the depths. 

They made it up to their apartment, and Ivy locked the door behind them. Harley pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side as she kissed Ivy messily, not caring where it landed. She pushed her skirt down, toed off her boots until she stood in her underwear, a set of red lingerie that almost matched Ivy’s hair. Ivy stripped herself, too, pushing Harley back towards the bedroom. They fell together, laughing. 

Harley kissed Ivy’s neck, her hand tangling in that long red hair. Ivy moaned softly when Harley trailed her tongue along her skin, and Harley shivered at the delicious sound. She’d never known she wanted to hear that sound until it took over her senses. She hadn’t really known she’d wanted to touch Ivy like this until it was all she could think about. 

Maybe she’d thought about it, sometimes, when Ivy looked at her a certain way or smiled at her softly, but she’d always laughed it off, dismissed it as silly. 

They’d always shared a bed - there was only one in their place, but it never mattered because Harley treated it like an endless sleepover, and it was big enough they could have their space if they wanted it. But they’d never shared a bed like this. 

Harley reached around Ivy’s back to unhook her bra, letting her hands trail over green skin. She was soft as a rose petal. Harley felt like she was floating outside of herself when she cupped Ivy’s breasts in her hands, her thumbs circling over the nipples, coaxing them into sensitive points. Ivy straddled her lap, hovering over her, and she lifted Harley’s upper half off the bed so she could remove her bra too. The next thing Harley knew, Ivy’s mouth was on her breast, and she couldn’t breathe. 

“Fuck, Ive,” she moaned, legs locking around Ivy’s waist, her back arching up off the bed as Ivy sucked her nipple, tongue like silk on her skin. Harley dragged her nails down Ivy’s back and felt her body open up to the woman on top of her, felt herself melt, all her senses folding into one. 

She rolled, switching their positions so she was the one on top. She liked it that way. She kissed Ivy again, cupping her face with one hand while the other worked its way down her body. She felt the lace of Ivy’s underwear and her fingers crept past it slowly, waiting for Ivy to stop her. 

She didn’t. 

Ivy’s legs opened wider to let Harley in, and Harley took the encouragement. She trailed her fingers through the thatch of Ivy’s pubic hair until she found what she wanted, and she rubbed two fingers gently against her clit. Ivy made that sound again, the one that made Harley’s spine tingle, the one that made her feel unchained and consumed with something wild and passionate. 

“Harley,” Ivy whispered into her ear, her breath heavy, hands tangling in Harley’s pink-and-blue streaked hair. She hadn’t taken her pigtails out, and Ivy tugged on one lightly. 

“You like this, baby?” Harley said into her mouth, and was rewarded with a nod, another moan against her lips when Harley ran her fingers over the wet, warm slit of Ivy’s cunt. To feel how wet she was, to see the evidence of how much Ivy wanted her, made Harley want to shout it from the rooftops. 

But this was their moment. As much as Harley wanted the world to know how much it meant to her, Ivy was hers alone right now. To do with what she wanted. 

“We gotta get some toys for next time,” Harley whispered, biting the shell of Ivy’s ear, and Ivy laughed quietly into her neck, a trembling thing. 

They each had a vibrator on hand - of course - but Harley was thinking of something else, something bigger. She knew a sex shop a few blocks away, and she would pay a visit as soon as she could. 

For now, she would use what she had, the best way she knew how. 

She’d never done this before, but now, with Ivy, she desperately wanted to. She moved down, trailing kisses over Ivy’s breasts and down her belly, leaving wet lines with her tongue. She pulled Ivy’s panties off and threw them behind her head. (In the morning, she would find them draped over the ficus Ivy kept by the door, caught on one of the bigger leaves). 

“Harls,” Ivy said, sneaking her hand under Harley’s chin to tip her head up. Her eyes were big, greener than anything, and her pupils were blown out. Her lips were parted, breathing heavy. 

“You ready for this?” Harley asked, just to make sure. Ivy hadn’t told her no so far, and that was her greatest fear - that she’d realize this wasn’t what she wanted, that Harley would have to stop, that Ivy wanted to forget all this. Neither of them were thinking about the elephant in the room - the fiance, the man Ivy would wake up and still be engaged to in the morning, when the passion was over and their heads were clear. 

“Do you want to?” Ivy asked quietly. Harley grinned and nodded, kissing Ivy’s thigh. 

“‘Course I do, baby.” 

Ivy smiled. “Okay.” She spread her knees wider, and her hand found Harley’s, twining their fingers together. Harley bent to her task. Ivy smelled natural and earthy, and she tasted . . . Harley couldn’t describe the taste of her, exactly, only that she loved it. She sucked Ivy’s clit into her mouth, rolling her tongue around it. Ivy’s hand tightened on hers. Harley kept her arms wrapped around Ivy’s legs, getting more eager and bolder as Ivy’s moans got louder. It was lucky they didn’t have neighbors; they were the only tenants on this floor of the building. They’d scared all the others into moving out, and their landlord let them have the run of the place. It was pet-friendly, too (really, it was probably Harley’s hyenas that had scared everyone else into ending their leases). 

Ivy writhed on the bed, turning her head into the pillow. Her red hair was a halo around her, spread out over the black sheets, and she looked like a dream Harley never wanted to wake up from. If she’d known it was going to be this good, she would’ve done it sooner.

Harley let her tongue do the work, bringing Ivy closer and closer to the peak of her desire. Harley wanted to be the one to get her there. She wanted this to be unforgettable. 

“Harley, I’m - oh God,  _ fuck _ .”

If Harley hadn’t been so focused on her task, she would’ve seen the plants growing in the room, the flowers - bright red and white roses - blooming all over, turning their bedroom into a garden. 

In the morning, before Harley woke up, Ivy would get rid of the evidence, but they were beautiful while they lasted. 

Harley turned her head and bit down gently on the skin of Ivy’s thigh when she came, shuddering and gasping. Harley grinned and licked her lips when Ivy looked down at her, trying to catch her breath. 

“Come here,” Ivy said, pulling Harley up to her chest. She flipped them again so Ivy was on top now, molding her body against Harley’s, and it was all she ever wanted to feel again. Ivy was so soft and smooth, gentle with her, sweet, nothing like what she was used to. Harley gasped when she felt Ivy’s fingers on her cunt, rubbing her clit in rhythmic circles. 

Ivy kissed her, tongue in her mouth, and Harley kissed her back with as much energy as she could give. Her legs went up around Ivy’s waist of their own accord; her arms locked around Ivy’s neck tightly, tangling in her hair when she felt two of Ivy’s fingers slip easily inside her. She was already wet from the heady sensation of eating Ivy out, and Harley trembled and let out a small mewling whimper when Ivy moved her fingers. 

“Am I doing this right?” Ivy asked, whispering in Harley’s ear. “Does it feel good?”

“Yes,” Harley promised her, thrusting her hips. “Oh, baby. God, yeah - put your thumb -  _ oh,  _ right there, Pammie.”

She didn’t mean for the nickname to slip out, but it did, and Harley’s face flushed. She’d only called Ivy by her real name a couple of times, and only in mocking, lighthearted teasing (mostly whenever she heard Charles, the fiance, refer to Ivy as Pam). Pamela wasn’t who she was to Harley - she had always been her Ivy. Like Harley had never been Harleen to her; she was always Harley. 

But Ivy seemed to like it. She moved her fingers with a new fervor, a renewed enthusiasm, and kissed Harley slow and deep. Never in her life had Harley been kissed like this. She knew Ivy had kissed more than a few people - to poison them, mostly, with her special plant toxin she sometimes wore as a lip gloss - but Harley had only kissed Joker and a few other nameless flings. They all perished in comparison to this: Ivy’s soft lips on hers, her soft tongue in her mouth, moving against Harley’s in a fluid dance. 

This couldn’t be just for one night. 

Harley remembered the rest of that night in perfect clarity; how after they’d both made each other come, they’d got out Harley’s vibrator and did it again, and then they’d kissed and touched each other softly for an hour after they were both spent, and they’d laughed and giggled together as night deepened outside the apartment. Harley laid on Ivy’s chest, tracing patterns in her green skin with a sharpened nail painted black. 

“That was really fun, Ives,” she said quietly, a smile on her lips. Her heart was still racing in her chest. Being this close to Ivy, so intimate, was intoxicating. Invigorating. 

“Yeah,” Ivy agreed, her arm around Harley’s shoulders. She was running a finger up and down Harley’s arm, tracing the lines of old tattoos. 

Harley heard the odd tone of Ivy’s voice, and anxiety gripped her; this was the moment when she was starting to realize what they’d done. This was the minute that Ivy would start to panic, because she was engaged to a man and she’d just slept with her best friend. 

But no, that moment wouldn’t come until morning. The first time Ivy left her.

Harley wouldn’t find any sort of note, no texts on her phone, nothing to indicate where Ivy had gone. But she had a feeling. 

So, reeling with horrible emotions and painful feelings that hurt too much to concentrate on, she went out and caused some mayhem in Gotham City, smashing cop cars and stealing a few minor things, trinkets and shiny jewelry and some new toys. It made her feel marginally better. 

During the first few months of their friendship, Ivy was always bailing Harley out of the messes she got herself into and cleaning up after her. But Ivy wasn’t there to take care of her this time as Harley left a trail of destruction in her wake. She laughed maniacally as she smashed the window of another cop car with her baseball bat, high on the adrenaline of a good crime. 

Once upon a time, she’d wanted to get the attention of the Legion of Doom, looking for a place in their ranks, but that dream had died when Ivy had shown her that she was better than them. She should aspire to greater heights, and she did now; now, she just wanted people to respect her like they did Ivy. She wanted people to fear her, not laugh at her. She’d gotten a highway named after her in the city, which was cool, but it seemed silly now every time she drove past it.

She had to think of something big on her own, something like what Joker used to come up with. A bomb? Eh, too messy. Ransom of the mayor? Public unmasking of Batman? Now that was an interesting thought. Maybe something involving the entire Justice League. If she could pull it off all on her own, Harley Quinn’s name would go down in history.

Schemes like that were always the reason Harley ended up in the tough spots Ivy had to rescue her from, but Harley would prove that she didn’t need Ivy this time. 

If Ivy didn’t want to be with her, Harley would prove that she didn’t need her. 

That first morning she woke up alone was the most painful, because Harley actually expected Ivy to be there. She thought they would wake up together and have breakfast; Ivy would cook, ‘cause Harley would burn the kitchen down if she tried. They’d cuddle on the couch, maybe. 

She was so caught up in the moment last night, she’d allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy that it would lead to something real. 

She knew why Ivy left her - the fiance. Obviously. She wondered if Ivy was telling him what happened. Harley didn’t actually know how close they were.

She didn’t care if Ivy did tell Charles. Part of Harley wanted him to know. She’d never really thought much of the guy; he seemed boring. She didn’t know what Ivy saw in him. She didn’t really even know the story of how they’d met. They’d been engaged before Harley met Ivy, and Harley had never asked for details on him. She didn’t care. 

Harley could just imagine what Ivy would say when they met again. “That was fun, but it can’t happen again.” Or, “You’re my best friend, Harls. But I don’t love you that way.” Or, “I’m not gay.”

Harley hadn’t known she was bisexual until now, but at least she could admit it to herself after last night. She didn’t know if Ivy would be able to. 

Or maybe she was just overthinking things, and Ivy had just gone out to run an errand, meaning Harley ran off for no reason.

It was too late now. Harley had already pissed off the pigs. Sirens went off behind her as she ran from the cops, cartwheeling away from them. She laughed. No matter her feelings, this was always fun, and it always put a little extra pep in her step. 

She was feeling okay by the time she got back to the apartment, stolen contraband in hand and sipping a milkshake she’d picked up on her way back. She dropped her bag on the couch. Her hyenas, Bud and Lou, smelled meat and came sniffing, and she let them have the steaks she’d picked up for them. 

“Ives?” Harley asked, stomach fluttering with nerves now that she had to face reality. 

Ivy stepped out of the bedroom, a tentative smile on her face. “Hey, Harls.”

“Hey,” Harley said. She sipped her milkshake. 

“We need to talk,” Ivy said. “Which you probably know.”

Harley nodded. “Sure, Red.”

Ivy sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Listen, Harley - last night - it was - ”

“Amazing,” Harley said, face flushing. Ivy blushed, and she wouldn’t meet Harley’s eyes. There was a sad smile on her face. 

“Yes, it was,” she said. When she met Harley’s gaze, her eyes were sorrowful. “But it can’t happen again. You know why.”

“Do you really love him?” Harley asked before she could stop herself. Ivy’s face contorted, and she looked away. 

“Of course I do. We’re getting married in two months.”

Some part of Harley had known the wedding was that close - Ivy had talked about it; for Christ’s sake, Harley was going to be the Maid of Honor - but it had slipped to the back of her mind as something unimportant. 

Harley wanted to say that if Ivy really loved the guy, she wouldn’t have cheated on him.  _ She  _ had nothing to feel guilty for. She hadn’t cheated on anyone. 

“What about me?” Harley asked, her voice quiet. “Do you love me?”

“Last night was just - we were drinking. It was a one-time thing, Harls. We were caught up in the moment, and it was fun, but it shouldn’t have happened.” Ivy shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “Of course I love you, Harley. You’re my best friend. But we can’t be together in that way.”

“Why not?” Harley pleaded, stepping closer to her. She put her milkshake down on the counter so she could take Ivy’s hands. At least Ivy didn’t pull away. “If you liked it, and if you love me, then . . . .”

“I didn’t even know you liked women,” Ivy said. Harley shrugged. 

“Neither did I ‘til last night. But I can say it now. I know I like  _ you,  _ at least.” She smiled. “A lot. I love you, Ivy. I did some thinkin’, and I’ve probably loved you for a long time. You mean everything to me.”

“Harley . . . .”

“Just think about it, okay?” Harley pressed a kiss to her cheek, squeezing her hands before she let go. 

Ivy looked at her. She shook her head. She looked torn, half angry, half sad. “It can’t happen again, Harls. I’m sorry.” She pursed her lips and looked away. “Look, maybe we should . . . give each other some space for a while.”

Harley felt her heart break, but she nodded slowly. She couldn’t say anything.

She heard the words in her head,  _ It can’t happen again _ , an echo of exactly what she knew Ivy would say. Knowing she would say it and actually hearing it were different, though. Harley had hoped she’d be wrong.

But it did happen again. And again, and again.

The second time was two weeks later. Harley and Ivy had been awkwardly dancing around each other, avoiding talking about it. They went out together and pulled schemes together, but it wasn’t the same. 

Harley flirted shamelessly, sometimes on purpose, but mostly without meaning to. It was just the things she said or the way she acted. She started thinking about when she’d be able to touch Ivy again, to kiss her. They came close, in those two weeks, but Ivy always stopped it before it got too far again. 

But Harley knew, she knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Ivy had feelings for her. She wouldn’t have . . . Ivy wouldn’t have touched her like she had that night if she didn’t feel anything for Harley. 

They were best friends, but now that was ruptured. Harley refused to claim fault. She was honest; she knew what she felt for Ivy, even if it had taken her a while to figure it out. But now she was certain. And she knew, too, that Ivy had never once lied to her. She’d always been truthful with Harley. Best friends or not, whatever they were now, that wouldn’t change. And yet Ivy exhibited all the behaviors of a guilty liar. 

So Harley planned. She schemed. She went to that sex shop around the corner and got a set of lingerie for herself. She bought a bag of sex toys which she hid in the bedroom closet. She actually paid for everything because she liked the guy who ran the shop; he was nice, and he was just trying to make an honest living. She even told him her sorrows, and he gave her advice. He told her to put herself out there, to be honest and open with Ivy. 

She’d already been honest, and she’d never been as open with anyone as she was with Ivy. All that was left to do was put herself out there.

One night she put on the set of red lingerie she’d purchased. It was real nice - lacy and sexy, red panties with a garter belt and stockings, diamond-shaped cutouts in the lace, a knockout bra with caged straps and a little bow. Harley put on a black silk robe and outfitted herself with sparkly jewelry, a diamond necklace and pretty earrings in the shape of roses she thought Ivy might like. She sat on the couch and waited for Ivy to get home. Ivy was out trying to hunt down information on a new project some tech company was working on that would have bad repercussions for the environment. She wanted to stop it before it could start.

When she got home, Harley was draped across the couch, watching a black-and-white romance movie while Bud and Lou slept at her feet.

Ivy stopped short at the sight of her, her eyes going wide. 

Harley smiled, getting up from the couch. She slunk over to Ivy and let her robe fall open a little more. “You like it?”

“Harley, we can’t - ”

“Shh.” Harley put a finger to Ivy’s lips and moved closer, pressing her body against the other woman’s. She closed her eyes. She’d missed this. “Just for tonight. We don’t have to say nothin’ about it in the morning.”

That wasn’t quite true, but Harley would do anything to have Ivy in bed with her again. 

She’d had some sort of a plan in place to get Ivy to sit down and really talk about her feelings, but it went out the window as soon as they kissed. 

This time, Harley was better prepared. When Ivy saw the big strap-on she’d purchased, she pulled Harley onto the bed and tied her down with vines she made grow around the bedposts. 

Oh, Harley liked being restrained.

And Ivy wasn’t gentle with her.

But she also liked being on top, so when it was her turn, she used the ropes and fluffy handcuffs she’d bought. She gave as good as she got. She pulled out every trick in the book she knew of, and made Ivy come three times that night. She called her Pammie, “My Pammie, baby, isn’t this fun?” and thought she was getting somewhere. Ivy loved the lingerie. She didn’t want to take it off Harley, and she spent time teasing her, toying with her, tracing her fingers over the lines of the outfit. 

The second time was better than the first. The third time was better than the second. Every time was better than the last, and Harley couldn’t get enough. 

But every time, every morning after, Ivy disappeared.

She and Charles broke off the engagement after the fourth time. He found out by accident; he came to pick Ivy up at the apartment to take her out to dinner, and he heard the girls having sex on the other side of the door. Ivy had lost track of time, didn’t realize he was coming to pick her up. She ran after him, leaving Harley alone. 

She didn’t come back for a while.

When Harley saw her again, she knew Ivy and Charles were over. But she still refused to feel guilty. 

“Will you please just talk to me, Ives?” Harley asked desperately. “I’m still your best friend, ain’t I? We’ll always be that. So you can tell me anything. Why are you hidin’ from me?”

“I’m not hiding,” Ivy said. She looked angry, defeated, defensive. “This has to stop, Harley. I’m done. All of this was a mistake.”

“It’s not a mistake. I know you feel something for me, Ivy.” Harley moved closer, but Ivy moved away. Harley felt tears sting her eyes; her lip trembled. 

“Don’t. Don’t cry,” Ivy said, shaking her head and looking away. 

“Talk to me, then!”

“I can’t, Harley.”

“Why  _ not _ ?”

But Ivy wouldn’t answer. It was the first real fight they’d ever had, and it broke Harley down to a place she’d thought she’d escaped from.

After that, she stayed away from the apartment and found another place to crash, one of her old hideouts. In her weakest moments without Ivy, she thought about going back to Joker. She got as far as the street where he kept his base of operations before she turned back in shame. 

She teamed up with Clayface and King Shark to terrorize Gotham City, and even found some of her old Suicide Squad team. Deadshot wouldn’t talk to her, but she roped Enchantress into a job, and they tracked down Killer Croc to help. It was a big one - they were gonna lift weapon plans from Gotham City’s biggest underground manufacturer, and then sell them to the highest bidders. Harley wanted to get the attention of every major player in the game. Ivy’s rejection had sparked an old flame in her, and she was feeling the need for recognition. She wanted to be seen and heard. She wanted Batman himself to come after her, just so she could tell him she was never going back to Arkham and then escape him.

But it went wrong. Somewhere along the way, the plan went haywire; Enchantress abandoned her, Killer Croc double-crossed her and left her in the dust. Harley found herself tied up, captured by Two-Face, who’d been working with the weapons manufacturer. He laughed at her, mocked her. 

“Poor Harley,” he said, pressing the barrel of his gun against her cheek. “Always looking for attention, aren’t you?”

“Fuck off,” Harley spat at him, turning her face away from the gun. 

“Joker’s been telling everyone who will listen that you’re pathetic. You’re nothing without him, and everyone knows it.”

“Shut up!” His words scraped an old wound, and Harley snarled at him.

“Look at this,” he said, spreading his hands wide. “Here you are, trying to pull off a big-girl scheme, but you can’t do it alone and you can’t even get a good crew together to help you.”

“It was gonna work,” Harley snapped, hands clenched into fists behind her back where they were tied. “If Enchantress hadn’t - ”

Two-Face clicked his tongue. “Ah, ah, Harley. Don’t blame others for your own mistakes. Own up to the fact that you’re a poor, sad, sorry little girl trying to break into a big man’s game.” He shook his head in pity. “Now, your gal Poison Ivy - she’s impressive. I’ve seen you two goin’ around together. Why isn’t she here?”

“She wasn’t available,” Harley said through her teeth. 

“Too bad. You might’ve lived if she was.” He pointed his gun at her forehead. 

Harley pushed herself backwards so her chair hit the floor hard enough that the legs broke. Her ankles free, she scrambled up and swung a roundhouse kick at Two-Face, knocking his gun out of his hands. She turned around and slammed into him, breaking the rest of the chair and shaking her hands free. 

His goons who had been lurking in the corner came after her, but Harley picked up one of the broken chair legs and started swinging with a yell. 

It was a messy, bloody fight, but she got out of it. Without the weapons plans, her goal failed, but she escaped the place alive, at least. 

She limped home, bleeding, shoulders sagging. 

Part of her had expected Ivy to come and rescue her. She always did.

Ivy was there when she got home, and at the first sight of a wounded Harley, she jumped up from where she’d been sitting with a book. “What happened?” She ran to her and guided Harley to the couch, running for the first-aid kit they kept in the bathroom.

Harley shrugged and winced at the pain in her ribs. “Ran into Two-Face. No biggie.”

Ivy sat beside her, the medical box open on the couch. She dabbed Harley’s cuts gently. Harley didn’t look at her. 

“What did you get yourself into this time?” Ivy asked gently as she bandaged Harley.

“Nothin’ I couldn’t handle on my own,” Harley said defensively. Ivy paused. 

“I know you can handle yourself, Harley.”

“No, I think I got it. That’s why you won’t be with me, isn’t it? ‘Cause you always gotta clean up my fuckin’ messes?” Harley pulled away from her, and Ivy put her hands in her lap, her head down. 

“That’s not it.”

Harley didn’t believe her.

“Sure it ain’t, Red.”

“Harley, please - ”

“It’s fine. Whatever. I get it.” Harley took the first-aid kit away to finish fixing herself up. She didn’t need Ivy to do it.

She wanted her to do it, but she’d keep that to herself. As much as she liked Ivy taking care of her, she  _ could  _ take care of herself, and she knew she needed to prove that.

“Where have you been staying?” Ivy asked her. 

“Nowhere,” Harley said. 

Ivy sighed. “I want you to come back, Harley. I miss you.”

Harley stood with her back to Ivy. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “I can’t, Pammie. It hurts too much.”

Honesty was a knife, but Harley had taken worse than that. 

She heard Ivy take in a small breath behind her. “I . . .”

“You don’t have to say nothin’,” Harley said. “It’s fine. You were right. What we did, it was all a mistake and I’m stupid for thinkin’ it would go anywhere. We were just having fun, right? It’s okay.”

Ivy was quiet. 

Harley finished cleaning her wounds. She closed the first-aid kit and moved towards the door. “I’ll get out of your hair. I guess I’ll see you around, Ivy.”

She got as far as the door when Ivy said, “Wait.”

Harley stopped. She didn’t want to turn around, but she did. 

She knew the same thing would happen this time. Ivy would leave her again. She could see it on her face, the look in her eyes. Ivy wasn’t ready to talk yet, wasn’t ready to commit even if she was single now. Harley had done all she could, and this was just needlessly painful now. 

But she’d always been a glutton for punishment. 

She heard Ivy approaching behind her, her footsteps slow. Harley had her hand on the doorknob. Ivy reached around her and took her hand slowly, and Harley leaned her head against the door. 

“I’m sorry,” Ivy said. “Please stay.”

There were no promises that they would figure things out from that point. No reassuring words that Ivy loved her, that she would admit her feelings and they could have something real. But Harley fell for it anyway. She couldn’t resist. Maybe that made her weak. At least when it came to Ivy. 

She turned around and fell into Ivy’s arms, kissing her with a groan. 

They didn’t just fuck that night, they made love, and Harley knew, knew,  _ knew  _ as much as she ever did that Ivy wasn’t saying out loud how she felt. It tore her apart. She wanted to dig and find the answers, but she let herself get lost in the passion again instead.

That was the fifth time. The sixth, and the seventh, and the eighth, it seemed like things were in balance. They were climbing a steady peak. Harley was happier. Ivy seemed happier, though they still never sat down and talked anything out. They used the sex as a way to be closer to each other, as stress relief, as a method of letting off steam after their victories against other villains on the street. 

Ivy went on pretending all was well, but Harley felt the rift between them, still there even though they pretended it wasn’t.

The ninth time, Ivy was the one to initiate it, which was a change of pace that threw Harley off guard. She was usually the one to start things off, the one who had to coax Ivy into it. But this time, Ivy was drunk. She was bubbly. She grew roses in their apartment and made a bouquet of them for Harley, and she climbed into Harley’s lap and kissed her.

“Pam-a-lamb,” Harley said with a giggle, using a new nickname she’d come up with for Ivy. Ivy liked it, judging by the way she smiled against Harley’s lips. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I just want you,” Ivy said, her hands on Harley’s face. 

“You got me, baby,” Harley said, her arms around Ivy’s neck. “You always got me.”

“You’re so beautiful, Harley,” Ivy whispered in her ear, biting the shell of it as she grinded into Harley’s lap. “Such a pretty girl.”

Harley’s face flushed. This felt different, and maybe she should’ve stopped it because Ivy was drunk, but she’d been drinking, too, and she didn’t want to stop. 

“I love you, Ive,” Harley said, almost in a whisper. She couldn’t help herself. 

“I love you too,” Ivy said. Harley knew it wasn’t in the way she meant - that she was  _ in  _ love with Ivy. She knew Ivy loved her as her best friend. Maybe . . . maybe that would just have to be enough. Maybe they could be best friends who did things like this and everything would be dandy. Harley could deal with that. She didn’t know if she was the monogamous type, anyway. She’d only screwed a couple of other people since she started sleeping with Ivy, but it didn’t feel right. Not as good as Ivy. They were all guys, so maybe that was a factor, too. Maybe Harley liked women more. She didn’t know.

All she knew right now was Ivy, in her lap, and how beautiful she was. How much she loved her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bedroom,” Harley said, trying to tug Ivy in that direction. But Ivy shook her head.

“Let’s do it right here. On the chair.” 

It was an enticing idea. Harley moaned when Ivy slipped her hands under her shirt. She knew how to treat a woman well. Ivy’s hands on her breasts were soft, caressing. She thumbed Harley’s nipples gently, rubbing them in circles to get them hard. She kissed Harley’s neck, sucking a hickey into her skin. 

Harley made quick work of their clothes, tearing them off and tossing them aside until they were in their underwear on the chair. The chair had been a good idea, but soon enough, they ended up on the floor. Harley rolled on top of Ivy, kissing her with as much passion as she could; she wanted Ivy to feel it, to know how much Harley meant by it. She took Ivy’s wrists and held them together, raising her arms over her head. Her hand went down, down, down, until Ivy’s legs spread for her and invited her inside. She was wet already, and Harley moaned into her mouth. 

“You must’a been thinkin’ about this all day,” Harley said as she ran her fingers through the slick, dragging them up to Ivy’s clit. “Were you?”

“Only a little,” Ivy said coyly, smirking. She was different when she’d been drinking. Harley liked her when she was like this. Playful. Sweet. 

“I’ll make you feel so good, Pammie,” Harley promised, biting her lip softly. 

“You always do.” Ivy locked her legs around Harley’s waist. Harley slipped two of her fingers inside her, curling them gently. Ivy bit Harley’s shoulder. Harley dipped her head to suck on one of Ivy’s nipples while she fingered her in the rhythm she liked - Harley had learned all about what Ivy liked by now, knew just how to make her moan. 

“Harley,” Ivy said, pulling her face up so she could kiss her. “My Harls, I’m sorry I don’t want to talk about my feelings, I’m sorry I treat you the way I do. I’m scared to give you my heart.”

Harley paused, taken aback by the drunken rambling. She looked down at Ivy, frowning gently. “Why? I’d treat you real nice, Ive. I wouldn’t hurt you. I promise.” She would die keeping that promise. She never wanted to hurt Ivy. Ever.

But Ivy shook her head and kissed her again, ending the conversation. “Let’s just not talk. Forget I said anything.”

Harley wanted to push and pull and dig, but Ivy distracted her quickly, and she let the conversation fall to the back of her mind. It would come back to her in the morning, when she was alone again, and her head would spin circles around itself trying to figure it out. She didn’t know why Ivy was scared to love her. She didn’t think it was the fact that she was a woman. It had to be something else. 

They never made it to the bed that night, and they couldn’t pull away from each other long enough to grab any of their toys. It was just bodies, hands and mouths and touch, and out of all the times they’d had sex by now, it was one of Harley’s favorites. They fell asleep together on the couch, curled up in each other’s arms. Harley liked to cuddle and snuggle with Ivy, just to hold her, to be close to her, but the post-orgasm comedown was always when Ivy started to distance herself mentally. By morning, she’d be gone. Harley always tried everything she could to keep her there, but it never worked. 

She woke up the morning after their ninth time to Bud and Lou curled around her instead of Ivy, and she sighed. She pet her hyenas’ fur and stayed on the couch for a while. There wasn’t any reason to get up. She rarely let herself mope over Ivy - mostly, she just went out and destroyed things as an outlet for her frustration. Today, she felt like moping. She thought she deserved it.

She spent the day binge-eating junk food and drinking. She knew better than to check her phone for messages from Ivy, so she just sat and waited for her to get back while she watched her favorite stupid comedy on TV. She might have cried a little, for a few minutes, but she stopped herself. 

Ivy’s words from the night before echoed in her head. Harley was a smart girl. She might’ve had an inkling why Ivy would be afraid to love her in the way she wanted - she’d said it before, to Ivy’s face. It was because Harley broke everything she touched. She destroyed things, treated her toys carelessly, got into trouble because it was fun. Of course, Ivy did some of that, too, but Harley had less control over her actions than Ivy did. Harley always left things trashed and decimated behind her and never bothered to clean anything up. She relied on Ivy to do that, counting on the fact that she would be there. 

Maybe Ivy was afraid Harley would do the same thing with her heart, break it and throw it away after she was done with it.

But over the last couple months, Harley had tried hard to change, and she thought she had, for the most part. She’d done a good job of being responsible. She was mature. She could handle shit on her own. And she could be careful with Ivy’s heart. She wouldn’t treat her badly. She wouldn’t hurt her. She would try not to disappoint her. All Harley really wanted was to be with her and make her happy, and she didn’t understand why they couldn’t just do that and figure the rest out as it came. Being best friends had always been easy; this was just the next step, and why shouldn’t it be just as simple?

Harley sighed, drowning in her misery for the rest of the day. She had the dark thought that at least with Joker, she always knew where she stood with him. She knew what kind of mood he was in. With Ivy, she couldn’t tell anymore. It hurt her.

Ivy came back late that night. Harley had the feeling she’d been going out with Catwoman lately, and Ivy wasn’t telling her about it. She’d seen a few clips on the news over the last couple nights of Ivy and Selina working together. Harley didn’t want to let it get to her, but it was starting to. She chewed angrily on some popcorn when Ivy walked in, hair up in a ponytail and looking like she’d just come from a workout. 

“Nice night?” Harley asked, voice sarcastically sweet. Ivy sighed. 

“Let’s not do this, Harls.”

“Do what?”

“You know what.”

“Fine,” Harley said, downing the last of the bottle of top-shelf liquor she’d been dipping into. She swallowed it down, relishing the burn, and stood up from the couch. Ivy watched her warily, her eyes guarded. “But just tell me what Catwoman has that I don’t, huh?”

“It’s not like that, Harley.”

“So tell me what it’s like, then.” It was the alcohol - it was the only reason she was pushing it, letting her mouth move ahead of her brain. Otherwise she would’ve left the apartment to find her own distractions, just like Ivy was doing.

“Selina has been helping me,” Ivy explained. “She’s my friend. She’s good to talk to.”

That almost made Harley crumble. “Why can’t you talk to  _ me _ ?” Tears sprang to her eyes unexpectedly, and she turned her face away. 

But seeing Harley cry had always gotten Ivy to melt, so maybe she should let her see.

“I’m sorry, Harley -” Ivy started to step towards her, but Harley backed away. 

“You’re always apologizing, but we never get anywhere, Ivy. It’s always the same. I’m tired of it. I want something real with you. It’s all I want. And I don’t understand why we can’t have it.”

“There are some things I have to work through,” Ivy said, looking at the floor. “And you . . . I’m just not ready, Harls.”

That should’ve given her hope. It implied that there was a point in time when Ivy would be ready, or that she was at least open to it. But all it did was make Harley want to cry even more. 

“Will you ever be?” Harley asked, hating that her voice trembled.

Ivy’s answer was expected, but it still hurt. “I don’t know.”

Harley nodded. “Right. Okay.” She looked around the living room, eyeing the mess she’d made of junk food snacks and the empty liquor bottle on the coffee table. Some of her tears were dried on the couch. She knew she looked a mess. “Well, I guess things are messed up now, aren’t they? They have been for a while. We can’t fix this. So I guess I’ll . . . I’ll find a new place to stay, for a while.”

“Harley, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to do that. Please,” Ivy said, moving towards her again. 

“I don’t know what else to do if you won’t talk to me, Ive.” Harley shrugged. “I’ve been tryin’ and tryin’. Last night you said some things. You said you were scared to give me your heart. I think I get it now, so don’t worry, okay? I won’t bother you anymore.”

She moved to the bedroom to start packing a bag. Ivy followed her. 

“I don’t want you to do this,” Ivy repeated, sounding a little desperate now. “Please, Harley - ” Harley knew that if Ivy said please enough, she would stay, and she didn’t want to stay this time. She didn’t want to give in. Ivy didn’t want to be hurt, but Harley was the one who was hurt, more and more every day they let this go on.

She packed her clothes and shoes, her makeup, her toothbrush, hair brush, Bud and Lou’s dog toys. She’d heard there was an apartment for rent above the Chinese food place across town - maybe she’d try her luck there. 

“Harley,” Ivy said, but Harley didn’t look at her, just kept filling her bag with things. “Harley, will you please look at me?”

She wouldn’t. She was stronger than that. She could resist. 

But then she felt something curling around her waist, and she was yanked away from her bag, turned to face Ivy. Harley glared. Ivy had made a vine grow from the plant by the door and it wrapped around Harley, holding her in place. Ivy smirked, and Harley’s eyes narrowed even further. 

“Let me go,” she demanded. 

“Not until you let me explain.”

“What do you have to explain, Ivy? You already told me everything I need to know. We don’t have to talk about this anymore, or ever again, alright? It’s fine. I’ll be outta your hair in a minute.”

“I don’t  _ want  _ you out of my hair!”

“Then what do you want?!” Harley was so tired of this. She was exhausted. 

“I told you there were some things I needed to work through,” Ivy said quietly. “I just . . . I just need you to be patient with me, Harley. This is - all of this is new to me, and I won’t lie to you and tell you I haven’t enjoyed it. I love you. I do. And I want you in my life.”

“I have feelings for you,” Harley said, shoulders slumping in defeat. “You know that. You  _ know  _ how I feel about you but I still don’t know how you really feel about me, and you won’t tell me. Don’t you get how painful that is? I don’t wanna be hurt anymore, Ivy. I don’t wanna wait around to find out if you’re ever gonna figure things out.”

Ivy took a deep breath. She closed her eyes. Harley knew she was building herself up to something, and she waited, even though part of her still wanted to run away. The vines slipped off her body, letting her go free. She could leave. 

She didn’t.

“I was scared to be with you,” Ivy said. “Because as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been destructive and careless with almost everything. You’re chaos. And I trusted you with my life, Harley - I always knew you’d have my back in a fight, and there’s still no one I’d rather be fighting with - but I didn’t trust you with my heart. Charles . . . I loved him. And having that relationship broken in such a messy way hurt me.”

The mention of Charles made Harley look away, and for the first time, she felt guilt over what had happened between Ivy and her former fiance. She’d never apologized for the part she played in their breakup. 

“I’m sorry,” she said before she lost her nerve. “I know I was a jerk to him. And I messed things up for you.”

“It was my fault, too,” Ivy said. “I decided to sleep with you. I didn’t tell you no. I didn’t want to. But part of me still blamed you, after Charles left me. That was wrong of me.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was. It took me a while to come to terms with that, but I’ve accepted it now, and I realized that as much as I loved Charles, I would’ve regretted marrying him. I would’ve been unhappy.”

Harley shrugged. She didn’t know what to say. She knew Ivy wasn’t finished, though. 

Ivy took a cautious step closer to her, and Harley crossed her arms over her chest, but she didn’t move away this time. 

“After the first time we slept together, I was scared because I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. Because you mean the world to me, Harley, and you have to know that. You mean everything. And I was afraid of what being with you in that way would change. Then I didn’t want to give up my heart to you because I saw how you went out and made reckless decisions and it proved my point, that you don’t care about the damage you leave behind,” Ivy said. Harley’s heart twisted at those words, but Ivy kept going. “But I’ve seen how you’ve changed, Harley. I know you’ve been working hard to be better. And you’ve done so many kind things for me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Harley said, avoiding her eyes. 

“Really? Because just a few weeks ago, I was going to go and protest the building of an apartment complex on top of one of Gotham’s last remaining natural parks, until I heard you got there first and ‘convinced’ the developers to abandon their plans,” Ivy said. Harley avoided her eyes even more. “And I also saw how you and Clayface destroyed the factory that was dumping oil and debris into the forest nearby. I noticed how you’ve been watering the plants every day now, and how you always move them so they’ll get the best light.”

“Fine, whatever,” Harley said, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I did all that, but maybe it wasn’t for you. Maybe I just wanted to.”

Ivy smiled, put her hand on Harley’s cheek so she would turn her face and finally look at her. Her eyes were soft enough to make Harley weak. 

“I also happen to know that when I was trying so hard to get a meeting with the CEO of that tech company to convince them of the harmful emissions their new factory would produce, you snuck into the office and told him he had to see me or else you’d reign terror down on him,” Ivy said. “I also know that when Scarecrow was going to dump toxic waste into the swamp, you convinced Swamp Thing to help you take him down.” Ivy smiled again and stroked her cheek. “And I’ve noticed that suddenly the Gotham Community Garden has a whole string of new volunteers that had no interest in it before.”

“So what?” Harley said defensively. 

“So maybe none of that was for me, but it still means everything that you went out and did it all, Harley.”

“I don’t know where this is going,” Harley said, looking down at her feet. “But you know I ain’t perfect, Ivy, and I’m never gonna be. Yeah, I might be cleaning up after myself now, but I’m still gonna mess up sometimes, you know?”

“I don’t need you to be perfect,” Ivy said. “I don’t want you to be. I love you as you are.”

“You’re just sayin’ that.”

“I’m not.” Ivy leaned in, pressed her forehead against Ivy’s. Her lips parted, and Harley wanted to kiss her so bad, but she held herself back. “I love you, Harley. So much. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you and that I’ve strung you along all these months. I won’t do it anymore. I’m still scared to do this. But I know that I want to at least try.”

It was too much for Harley to take. Too much hope. She shook her head, trying to keep her tears back. Dammit, she was tired of crying. 

“I’m supposed to believe you just changed your mind all of a sudden?” she asked. 

“I’ve been working through it for weeks, Harley,” Ivy explained. “That’s why I’ve been meeting with Selina. You’re my best friend, but it’s been helpful to talk to her. She gives me advice.”

“So what, she’s your therapist now? I got a fucking PhD!”

Ivy laughed. Her eyes sparkled when she did it, and Harley didn’t want to give in, but she started giggling, too. Then they were laughing together, and their arms were around each other, and it felt so good that Harley gave up and started crying. Jesus. 

“Harley,” Ivy said when they had calmed down. “This is how I feel about you: I love you, in the way that you love me. And I know that it’s not gonna be perfect. We’ll both have to work for it. But I want to try. I want to figure it out.”

It was frustrating, that they’d had to go through all this bullshit just to get here - it seemed so damn simple, so easy - but Harley didn’t say a word. This was what she wanted. And Ivy had asked her to be patient. She could do that. She would do anything for Ivy. 

Her heart swelled, and she giggled again, pulling Ivy up from the bed so they could dance around the room. 

She knew Ivy was right. It wouldn’t be perfect. They would have to talk about some things, still. There were some things they still had to discuss before they rushed into anything. Conversations needed to be had. But it had been almost a year, and Harley’s heart had been broken too many times for her to care about any of that. She had Ivy, and Ivy wanted her. She’d put her heart on the line and Ivy had finally offered hers back. They could be together in all the ways they wanted and figure out whatever came next together. 

Ivy pushed Harley backwards, until her back was against the wall. She kissed her, smiling against her lips. Harley immediately jumped up and swung her legs around Ivy’s waist, letting her hold Harley against the wall. Harley was happy to let Ivy take control tonight. Ivy could do whatever she wanted to her.

Ivy kissed her neck, across her collarbone and down to her chest. Harley tilted her head back and thought of nothing but Ivy’s lips on her. 

They took their time with each other. Ivy was slow, and Harley was teasing. They laughed more than they’d ever laughed during sex before, and it felt different than all the other times. It felt freer. Lighter and happier. Harley knew  _ this _ was finally the time that would change things. She would get what she’d been wanting for a year. 

On the bed, Harley undressed Ivy piece by piece, exposing her body inch by inch. She kissed all that green skin and left marks in the color. She took her hair down and let Ivy run her fingers through it, and she traced patterns over Ivy’s skin with her tongue. Ivy pushed her head down in between her thighs, and Harley grinned. This was always her favorite part. 

She let Ivy have what she wanted, loving the way Ivy’s legs wrapped around her head. As soon as Ivy started to moan, Harley’s spine arched. 

“I’m gonna make you so happy, baby, I promise,” Harley said as she kissed her thigh. “We’re gonna be so great together. You’ll see.”

“We should take a vacation,” Ivy said suddenly, gasping as Harley returned her mouth to her swollen clit. “Oh God. Oh - just the two of us. So we can figure all this out.”

“Where do you wanna go?” Harley asked, slipping a finger into Ivy. 

“Anywhere you want,” Ivy said, her words tapering off into a moan as Harley twisted her tongue. 

She came up for air long enough to say, “Vegas!”

Ivy laughed, her body shaking from more than just mirth. “Sure. Vegas. Oh fuck, Harls,  _ shit. _ ” Her hand shot down to fist in Harley’s hair, tugging her head up. Ivy was over-sensitive now and trembling, and Harley felt satisfaction roll through her body. She straddled Ivy’s waist, leaning over her to kiss her. 

“You and me, then,” she said happily, nuzzling her nose against Ivy’s. “Vegas.”

Ivy grinned and flipped them over so she was on top. Their toys were in the closet, but that wasn’t a problem. A vine crawled across the floor, dug into the closet, and came out with the strap-on hanging from it. Harley laughed. She helped Ivy put it on, and she wrangled them into the position she wanted - Ivy kneeling on the bed, Harley sitting on her lap, arms around her neck. 

Ivy rubbed Harley’s cunt slowly first, kissing her some more. Harley shivered and pressed her breasts against Ivy’s, the skin-to-skin contact driving her wild. She put her hands to good use and dragged one down Ivy’s spine, raking her nails gently over her skin (it was one of Ivy’s favorite things). She used the other to massage one of Ivy’s breasts, dipping her head down to suckle on the other. Ivy’s fingers moved in a rhythmic pattern against her cunt that made Harley start to whimper; she could feel herself getting wetter, responding eagerly to Ivy’s touch. 

“You wet enough yet?” Ivy asked her, using some of Harley’s slick to coat the strap-on. 

“Yeah,” Harley said, shifting her hips and lifting herself up. Ivy positioned the dildo against her cunt and Harley sat down slowly on it, gripping Ivy’s shoulders as it slid into her. The strap-on was her favorite - it was a nice bright pink one and it was all sparkly and Harley got it because it was so pretty. When she first showed it to Ivy, Ivy had laughed. 

Ivy kissed her and swallowed her moans as Harley started to ride her. She started slow and picked up the pace when she wanted more, grinding against Ivy’s lap. She liked this position, straddling her like this, but eventually Ivy tilted her backwards and pushed her legs up, spreading them wider. Harley was limber and flexible and she could do acrobatics in bed all day, so she didn’t complain. She giggled and bit Ivy’s ear when Ivy started to get really into it. 

“Yes, yes, yes!” Harley cried as Ivy fucked her, giving it to her just like she liked it. “Oh, I love you, Ivy, you’re my girl, we’re gonna have so much fun in Vegas - ”

“Shh,” Ivy whispered in her ear. But she was smiling. 

Ivy did her best to drag it out that night, taking Harley to the edge and pulling her back at least five times before she finally let her come. But then she did it again. And again. Harley took her revenge, and she was merciless when she gave Ivy three consecutive orgasms. They played with each other, toyed and teased each other for hours, until both of them were shaking, exhausted, sweaty and glowing. 

Harley wanted to be the little spoon, so Ivy curled up against her back and cuddled her, nuzzling the back of her neck. Harley felt like she was floating on a cloud. She smiled, sighing happily to herself as she snuggled underneath the covers. 

“I love you,” she said, twining her fingers with Ivy’s against her belly. 

“I love you too, Harls,” Ivy said, squeezing her hand. There was no more apologizing. No more running around in circles, no more dodging and dancing around each other to avoid this. Ivy wasn’t pulling away. This was it. Harley had never felt so content in her life. She couldn’t remember ever being this happy. 

There was a terrible, mean little voice in the back of her head telling her that she should still expect to wake up alone in the morning, but she pushed it away. Ivy had promised her they could figure things out. There was nothing to worry about now. 

She fell asleep in Ivy’s arms, comfortable and peaceful.

*

Harley blinked her eyes open to the sunlight streaming in from the window. Her body felt pleasantly sore, and she stretched, enjoying the cracking of her joints and the stretching of her muscles and tendons. She pointed her toes, flexed her hands and rolled her shoulders before she realized the bed was empty. Well, no, not empty. Bud and Lou were curled up together where Ivy should’ve been.

Harley just stopped. She just . . . stopped. She shut down. 

It was too much pain for her to handle, so everything in her went numb and blank. She laid on her back, staring at the ceiling, wondering when she’d stop being such an idiot. 

She should’ve left last night. Should’ve moved out like she’d planned. This was never gonna end, was it? For all the good her PhD in psychology did her, Harley couldn’t solve the puzzle of Ivy’s complicated emotions. 

She closed her eyes and sighed. She tried to conjure tears, but there weren’t any. Just disappointment. Bitterness and anger. A lot of grief and sadness. It all coalesced into a tight ball in Harley’s chest, and she wanted to tear it out and throw it across the room until it made a bloody mess, but she was too numb to move. 

The hyenas had always been attuned to her emotions, so when they sensed she was upset, they got up and piled on top of her, whining softly in their throats. 

“Oh, babies,” Harley said, stroking their fur. “You’re the only ones I’m ever gonna have, ain’tcha?” The only ones she’d ever be able to count on. 

Bud and Lou licked her hand to comfort her, and Harley let her misery weigh her to the bed. 

She’d been laying there for a few minutes when she heard the apartment door open. The bedroom door pushed open in another few seconds, and Ivy frowned. “Ah, shit, I wanted to be back before you woke up. I have a surprise for you.” She smiled so beautifully. 

Harley sat up in bed. Her lip trembled, and she burst into tears. 

“Oh my God, Harley, what is it? What happened?” Ivy ran to her and sat beside her on the bed, gathering her in her arms. 

“I - thought - you - left - me - again,” Harley said in between sobs. She sniffled unattractively and wiped her nose on her arm. “Dammit! I hate cryin’.”

“I’m so sorry, Harley,” Ivy said. She kissed her cheek. Her eyes looked guilty and sad, and her expression was full of sorrow. “I thought I would be back before you woke up.”

“So you’re not gonna leave me this time?” Harley asked, still needing to make sure. Ivy’s smile turned softer. 

“I promise I won’t,” she said. “I told you we’d work things out. And we’ve got our Vegas trip, right?”

Harley brightened, drying her tears. “Oooh, yeah!” She’d forgotten all about it. She hugged Ivy, relaxing against her body. “Sorry I’m a mess.”

“Don’t be,” Ivy said, stroking her hair. “I am, too.”

They laughed. Then Harley raised an eyebrow, a smile stretching her lips. “You got me a surprise?”

Ivy took her hand and pulled her gently off the bed. “Come see.”

In their little kitchenette was a bouquet of red, black, and white roses, specially dyed, with a note in Ivy’s handwriting, and a box of Harley’s favorite pastries from the Jewish deli and bakery around the corner. And on top of the box were two plane tickets to Las Vegas. Harley squealed and jumped into Ivy’s arms. 

“How’d you book a trip already?” she demanded, covering Ivy’s face in kisses. 

“I woke up very early,” Ivy said. “You’re a heavy sleeper, Harls.” When she set her feet on the floor, Harley picked up the note with the roses. In pretty, slanted script, it read,  _ I have a lot of making up to do. I hope this is a good start. I love you. _

Happiness bubbled up in Harley’s chest and burst from her brightly. She kissed Ivy again, over and over. 

“I can’t wait to go to Vegas,” she said. “When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow,” Ivy said. “We’ll have to occupy ourselves until then.”

“I’m sure we can find somethin’ to do,” Harley said coyly, kissing Ivy’s green nose. “I love you so much, Ive.”

Ivy’s smile was brilliant and happy as it was soft, and all of Harley’s doubts melted away. The relief she felt swept over her like a tsunami, enveloping her completely.

Finally. 

“Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, sittin’ in a tree,” Harley sing-songed as she played with Ivy’s red hair. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Dynamic duo. I promise you we’re gonna be great together, baby.” Maybe she was swept up in the joy and excitement, but she let herself feel it. She didn’t want to forget it, ever.

Ivy leaned in and kissed her softly. “We already are.”

**Author's Note:**

> (they get drunkenly married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas of course)
> 
> if you've never seen the Harley Quinn tv show but are reading this because you've read my other fics, hi and thank you!! and if you've seen the show and have never read any of my other fics, please tell me what you think!!!
> 
> for my regular readers: next month I'll be going back to aftg and posting an andreil fic because I really want to get back to them, I have like 15 drafts of different andreil fics. thanks for reading!! feedback is as always welcome!


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